Trapped in the Questions

As I crawled into bed Sunday night, after a very long and tiring week, I had an ah moment.

I've hit a wall. If only it felt as lovely as this one looks.

I'd felt 'off' all day. I'd been to church, had lunch with friends, chatted with the new guy and then went out for tea with another friend. It was all very normal and some quite good but it was like I was moving through jello, even in the midst of some heated discussions that I chose to get into the thick of.

I've been bashing it around in my head as to what this means. I want to define it as then I can work with it. This nebulous sensation of the wall gives me nothing tangible. I am someone who wants tangible, real, practical, logical and right now I cannot find it.

I am stuck with my feelings and they are hard for me to deal with. Feelings are so irrational and do not make a lot of sense at times. I am living in 'What's the point?' and 'What's the purpose?' and am unable to answer them at this time. If I pull myself back and look with a rational mind I know this is probably a very good place for me to be at but I am not as rational as I would like to be.

I am very tired. I am very detached.