A little vacation has come my way.
See you soon.

Your Heart Is Purple

For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection. If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength. Your flirting style: Sincere Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive What you bring to relationships: Understanding

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Too much Information?

Got the period.
This was the second time in my life that I was on the glad side of things to see it.

I was a late bloomer (yay) and it got to the point that I was worried that I was going to have to go to the doctor's and get checked out due to the fact that things were not working as per the norm. All the teen magazine's said that you should go if you had not started by 16. I lived in the tension of really not wanting it to start and really not wanting to be probed by the Doc.

This time? Well...
There was some, um,not so dry fooling around with the new guy.
His hands were down my pants on a few occasions.
Mine over his.
Other times there were no pants to speak of!

I wasn't extremely worried after the fact but in my brain I had a little voice that would pop up and say 'What if?'.

That would have been B-A-D.

I know the science and statistics of it all but any percent is a lot in my books. I also have always had a secret fear that I am extremely fertile. And, really, wouldn't it just figure that the little virgin who still hadn't gone all the way would likely get pregnant?

Boobage

Let me start with a *blush*........



It turns out that the boobs are good.
Who knew!

To me they are just the blobs of flesh that I have to dress around. They are a little too generous for my liking but not for the guy. He liked them

He said:

"You have good boobs. Firm"
squeeze
"And nice nips."

Yes. I got felt up.
A few good kisses and I lost my shirt. Then my tank top and the bra as well.
lord!
It was dark the first time (thank goodness) and even though I said yes my breathing became more rapid because I was so nervous. He told me not to panic and that it would be alright and then proceeded to kiss me some more.

I lost my shirt everyday that he was here.
I sometimes lost it multiple times per day.
And the boobs?
They were a little tender by the end of our week.
They felt bruised but didn't look it.

I have now experienced the squeeze, the pinch, the twist, the kiss, the suck and the nip/bite.

And I'll end as I began....*blush*

May I never be so desperate.

Being older and finally experiencing pretty much...anything...sends me into teenland tizzy's. I swear I end up regressing in age and am overwhelmed with teen angst.

At the same time I do not regret anything I did with the new guy. I went into it with a (mostly) clear mind and made my choices all along the way. I don't want to tell everybody, obviously, and I do not think they could handle it anyway. I want to enjoy the memories and not be frowned at for perceived crossing of my social circles boundries. But boy are they curious.

I got to say no.
I got to say yes.
I have to live with myself.

I got a peck on the cheek at the airport. It was sweet and tame.
It was a little later that evening that I got kissed properly and for a long time.

Swoon.
Swoon.
Swoon.



It has been too many years. Too, too many. He's a lovely kisser. There wasn't too much tongue and I must admit I really liked it when he sucked on and bit my bottom lip. Who knew! We wore my chin down all week long and I am still putting extra moisturizer on it to help with the redness.

Brain at Work

So.
Yes.
Well.
The guy has flown away.

Fun was had. We had a really good time together. I learned...a lot.
Now my head is working overtime on processing it all.

I have an odd sense of happy coupled with feeling fragile and vulnerable. This feeling stuff still makes my head hurt and also makes me somewhat tense and testy. I find them hard to express as they make no sense. I need rational and logical and feelings do not fit in those categories.

It was not like the winter at all.
Yet I am still not coupled.
We are friends who had a week of (some) benefits.

More later after more thinking.

The Big V is slightly more technical now.

Rubbed the sucker raw.
Then it got dry and rough and flaky.
Not lovely. Not pretty.
Still it doesn't stop the kissing.
Now the dry is gone and it's just red again.
(the pic doesn't do it justice)

He's here.
So far so good.

I was hanging out with the girls and of course they want to talk about the guy.

"Tell us more, tell us more!"

It's fine. I give them bits and pieces.

Like the fact I got my toes done.
Like I've got some waxing done (no not that!).
Like the last time we talked on the phone.
Like the fact he changed his original travel plans to see me instead of going to another place.
Like the fact I have an airport outfit (how girly is that, sheesh).

Then we move on to what our plans are while he's here and whether or not the girls will get to meet him. Eventually we get to the sex talk.

Boy can they send me crazy.

"You'd better not sleep with him J"
"Where is he staying J?"
"You aren't going to have sex with him are you J?"
"He can kiss you but that's it. You don't want to get into trouble J"

On and on it goes. There are times where it pisses me off to no end but I choose not to got there with them. If I get defensive I could cause them to worry and, really, it's up to me where it all goes.

I swear their memories of all this is fuzzed by their being married and getting a little something. And never mind just married; 3/4 of them were married at 19-20/ Geez! When I get the 'wait til your married' blah blah blah 'it's not that hard' blah blah blah I think, and sometimes say, "What are you talking about? You have no idea." I have more than a ten year ga since I was 20.

Ergh.
Still waiting though.

I can count the days on less than the fingers of one hand.
My nerves are kicking up.
And I have a dumb rash from waxing my legs.

I'm so very hot I tell ya.
Hmmf. Whatever.

Eeep.