| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is low. You've probably either had only one relationship.. Or all of your relationships have been very similar. You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship. |
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
We've been reduced to email as he has begun his travels. This might be good as I have some things to do before he arrives and it gives me time to plan fun things to do; going out, showing off the area things!
I've told friends now and they are irritating to no end. Well, they are not that bad but they have their moments. I guess they don't know what to do with me in this situation (not that I know either). Our conversations about the guy are quite stilted and hesitant and end rather quickly. Of course there is endless opinions on how to handle things, what to do and how each wants to meet him to give him a going over. Ugh. I cannot imagine subjecting him to that when we haven't spent time together (I know I'd hate it for myself).
I answer them the best that I can without giving everything away. I just want to keep it light hearted and easy and focus on the fun, friend like things that we talk about. I do not want to make it into some big thing when I just don't know what will happen, but, you know girl minds. My friends all have me married off already!
One topic does have me gritting my teeth when it gets brought up but...more on that later.
I've told friends now and they are irritating to no end. Well, they are not that bad but they have their moments. I guess they don't know what to do with me in this situation (not that I know either). Our conversations about the guy are quite stilted and hesitant and end rather quickly. Of course there is endless opinions on how to handle things, what to do and how each wants to meet him to give him a going over. Ugh. I cannot imagine subjecting him to that when we haven't spent time together (I know I'd hate it for myself).
I answer them the best that I can without giving everything away. I just want to keep it light hearted and easy and focus on the fun, friend like things that we talk about. I do not want to make it into some big thing when I just don't know what will happen, but, you know girl minds. My friends all have me married off already!
One topic does have me gritting my teeth when it gets brought up but...more on that later.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Seems Appropriate...
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
The fear of being a horrible met on the net story niggles in the back of my mind.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The last couple of weeks have been out of control in life. A lot of people issues that needed to be dealt with, work being a bugger and exposure issues at the other blog.
It's made my head hurt and the rest of me very tired. If it were possible I'd spend a week in bed with the covers pulled over my head and the phone unplugged.
But then I'd miss my times with the guy so up I get.
We have been reduced to IM for a variety of reasons for the next few weeks and I've been missing his voice. It's terribly girly of me. And I even told him that.
There was a fantastic storm on the weekend though.
Bucketing rain.
Thunder.
Lightning.
Wonderful and soothing.
(not my pretty pic)
It's made my head hurt and the rest of me very tired. If it were possible I'd spend a week in bed with the covers pulled over my head and the phone unplugged.
But then I'd miss my times with the guy so up I get.
We have been reduced to IM for a variety of reasons for the next few weeks and I've been missing his voice. It's terribly girly of me. And I even told him that.
There was a fantastic storm on the weekend though.
Bucketing rain.
Thunder.
Lightning.
Wonderful and soothing.
(not my pretty pic)
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Oh the Questions
I needed a true journal moment....
What the heck are you doing??? Who are you? Sometimes when I look at myself in all this it feels like I am looking at a stranger. This is so bizarre and so surreal and it makes my head hurt. The questions, oh the questions...
shit.
The nice good girl; where did she go? Am I really that bad? Is this really that bad? What's right? What's wrong? How far is too far? I seem to be going a lot further than I ever would have though and other than moments of utter freak out (that seem to pass rather quickly) it all seems alright.
Fumbling. That's what it seems like. Thoughts and emotions not always tracking. Thinking one thing. Wanting another. Which is right? Which is wrong? Is there right and wrong overall or is it more subjective? More something I need to decide? How do I figure that one out???
It's like contantly running two steps behind.
argh.
How ridiculous is this? Am I? Why is it far away I hold a certain appeal but not around here? How difficult does that make all this? Maybe I'm really some huge chicken and like the distance to make it safe, so that there is always a way out
Thinking, thinking, thinking....
What the heck are you doing??? Who are you? Sometimes when I look at myself in all this it feels like I am looking at a stranger. This is so bizarre and so surreal and it makes my head hurt. The questions, oh the questions...
shit.
The nice good girl; where did she go? Am I really that bad? Is this really that bad? What's right? What's wrong? How far is too far? I seem to be going a lot further than I ever would have though and other than moments of utter freak out (that seem to pass rather quickly) it all seems alright.
Fumbling. That's what it seems like. Thoughts and emotions not always tracking. Thinking one thing. Wanting another. Which is right? Which is wrong? Is there right and wrong overall or is it more subjective? More something I need to decide? How do I figure that one out???
It's like contantly running two steps behind.
argh.
How ridiculous is this? Am I? Why is it far away I hold a certain appeal but not around here? How difficult does that make all this? Maybe I'm really some huge chicken and like the distance to make it safe, so that there is always a way out
Thinking, thinking, thinking....
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