I find myself drowning in my thoughts.
I am overwhelmed by my fears in regards to relationships. (there are other things coming into play but....this is the whiny guy blog! heh)
I am retreating.
I am wallowing.
I am hiding.
I am weeping.

I am searching for that thing that will numb me and yet nothing does.
I wish, kind of, that alcohol had a greater affect on me.
Maybe it will increase with age.

I want to hide away, just burrow in my blankets, and not come out until I die.
Yes I can be morbid.
It is a safety mechanism.

It is the only way to not tear myself completely apart.

My head is so full and I can't get it out.