Comments I've had this Week

You look different. Did you meet someone? said by a co-worker when I got back to work (I hadn't seen them since being with the guy).

I told them no (yes I outright lied), as I do not share a lot with my co-workers, while at the same time thinking 'but they say you can't tell by looking at a person?!?' We didn't have the full sex but... fun was had.
I guess I appear better on the outside than I feel on the inside.

I'm concerned about you. said by a friend. When I questioned her as to what she meant she said she was worried I might do myself in.

She caught me off guard with this. I did not realize that I can come off quite so dark to others (even though it can be very dark in my head). I cannot imagine ever going there. I may hide away and talk very negatively but as far as killing myself? No way. If that was me, if that was who I am, I'd have done that in high school. Those were such dark days, the days I felt like nothing was good, but (and I see this as a good thing) I felt too guilty about how devastated the people left behind would be.
This too makes me wonder about this idea: 'I wonder if I will ever be one of the happy people? Or am I too realistic for that?'
But this has given me things to ponder for sure.

You are being so mature about this. said by a friend when we were talking about the guy and how things are going with him.

I have my freak in the head moments but having a brain that (mainly) works on logic I really do not see the point of being an emotional basket case with the general public! I save that for here and when I am by myself.
The thing with the guy? We've talked. We are leaving things open for now. He needs to figure out work and then a different living situation (he is at loose ends after moving countries and all). We live on different continents. Geez, I can pick 'em.
I see the truth of all of this and really belive it is not a line and so all I can do is trust. Do I want more? Yes. But it's only been a month. My feelings may change but for now I still want more with him. More, more, more : )

I think of you when I touch myself. said by the guy.

Well...no one has ever said that to me before. I am in two minds about this. It makes me feel odd and good all at the same time.